Bug\u00fcn bir bayram g\u00fcn\u00fc.\u00a0 Ad\u0131 sadece bayram olan bir g\u00fcn asl\u0131nda.\u00a0 Pandemi s\u00fcrecinin ba\u015f\u0131ndan beri uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z di\u011fer g\u00fcnlerden \u00e7ok da fark\u0131 olmayan bir g\u00fcn.\u00a0 Soluk, tats\u0131z ve renksiz…\u00a0 Uzaktaki yak\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ak\u0131ll\u0131 telefonlar vas\u0131tas\u0131yla yaln\u0131zca sesini duyabildi\u011fimiz, y\u00fczlerini g\u00f6rebildi\u011fimiz bir bayram g\u00fcn\u00fc…<\/p>\n

Benim i\u00e7in di\u011fer bayramlardan da fark\u0131 yok asl\u0131nda.\u00a0 Dile kolay yirmi iki y\u0131ld\u0131r gurbetteyim ve hemen her bayram\u0131m bu \u015fekilde ge\u00e7ti.\u00a0 O y\u00fczden \u00e7ocukken b\u00fcy\u00fck co\u015fkuyla kar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, hatta arefe gecesini sab\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131ktan uykusuz ge\u00e7irdi\u011fim bayramlar\u0131n aksine neredeyse \u00e7eyrek as\u0131rd\u0131r h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc benim bayramlar\u0131m.\u00a0 Elimden gelen yeg\u00e2ne \u015fey olan “yazmak” sayesinde i\u00e7imdeki h\u00fcz\u00fcn bulutunu bir nebze olsun bo\u015faltmak i\u00e7in oturdum \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma masama.<\/p>\n

Ben ile Biz’i yazay\u0131m istiyorum.\u00a0 Biz’den mahrum kal\u0131nan bu bayramda.<\/p>\n

“Biz” acaba kendimizi inand\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kadar \u00f6nemli mi “BEN”li\u011fimiz i\u00e7in?<\/p>\n

Ben’i Ben yapan Biz midir?<\/p>\n

Ben’i tamamlayan Biz’in bir par\u00e7as\u0131 olmak m\u0131d\u0131r?<\/p>\n

Biz var olsun diye Ben’i feda etmekten teredd\u00fct etmez miyiz?<\/p>\n

Sorular\u0131 \u00fczerine biraz kafa yoral\u0131m istiyorum.<\/p>\n

Bu sorular\u0131n cevab\u0131 bizi ba\u015fl\u0131ktaki b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fcr i\u015faretinin sa\u011flamas\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrecek \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc.\u00a0 \u0130ddiam odur ki: istisnalar d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda ba\u015fl\u0131ktaki tespit do\u011frudur.\u00a0 \u0130stisnalar\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fc ise asla kaideleri bozmaya yetmez.<\/p>\n

B\u0130Z’in bu yaz\u0131 \u00f6zelinde ne oldu\u011funu a\u00e7arak ba\u015flayal\u0131m \u00f6nce.\u00a0 B\u0130Z: kendimizi bir par\u00e7as\u0131 olarak g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz b\u00fct\u00fcnler silsilesi.\u00a0 Bir tane B\u0130Z yok yani.\u00a0 Bu B\u0130Z ailemiz de olabilir, sevgilimiz de…\u00a0 \u0130\u015f yerimiz de olabilir, arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z da…\u00a0 Bir siyasi te\u015fekk\u00fcl de olabilir, bir futbol tak\u0131m\u0131 da…\u00a0 O bak\u0131mdan alttaki sorular\u0131 da tespitleri de hangi B\u0130Z ‘e istersek uyarlayabiliriz.<\/p>\n

*\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 *\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 *\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 *<\/p>\n

Ailemizin her \u015feyde \u00f6nce geldi\u011fini s\u00f6yleriz.\u00a0 Oysa onlardan kendimize \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir haks\u0131zl\u0131k g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde, bizi zerre sevmeyen insanlara g\u00f6stermedi\u011fimiz tepkinin kat be kat\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steririz.\u00a0 Hatta bunun haks\u0131zl\u0131k olmas\u0131na bile gerek yoktur.\u00a0 Bu hiddetli tepki i\u00e7in BEN’in ho\u015flanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir hadisenin vuku bulmas\u0131 yeterlidir.\u00a0 Bunu sevgi ve ba\u011f\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fcyle izah edenler olacakt\u0131r, aileye kar\u015f\u0131 \u015f\u0131mar\u0131kl\u0131kla a\u00e7\u0131klamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanlar da ama as\u0131l sebep: BEN’in B\u0130Z’den \u00fcst\u00fcn olmas\u0131d\u0131r.\u00a0 \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc B\u0130Z i\u00e7in BEN yutkunmuyorsa B\u0130Z’i sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 kadar \u00f6nemsemiyordur.<\/p>\n

S\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam a\u015f\u0131k olan birine sordu\u011funuzda sevgilisi olmadan nefes dahi alamayaca\u011f\u0131ndan dem vurur.\u00a0 Ama zamanla bu a\u015fk yerini derin bir sevgiye b\u0131rakmaz, ya s\u00f6ner ya da bir al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011fa terk ederse \u00e7iftler aras\u0131ndaki BEN sava\u015f\u0131 daha \u00e7\u0131plak g\u00f6zle g\u00f6r\u00fclebilir.\u00a0 O, a\u015fk\u0131n en ate\u015fli g\u00fcnlerinde dahi asl\u0131nda bir BEN sava\u015f\u0131 vard\u0131r.\u00a0 Vard\u0131r da kalbin sesi bu sava\u015f\u0131n seslerini bast\u0131r\u0131r.\u00a0 \u00a0Oysa a\u015fk\u0131n en tutkulu d\u00f6neminde dahi \u00e7iftler sa\u00e7ma sapan sebeplerle birbirini h\u0131rpalamaktan \u00e7ekinmez.\u00a0 \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ne kadar inkar edilse de burada dahi \u00f6nemli olan, \u00f6ncelikli olan BEN’dir.\u00a0 Onunla meydana getirilen B\u0130Z’i de\u011ferli yapan da “O” de\u011fil, “BEN”dir.\u00a0 O ve dolay\u0131s\u0131yla “B\u0130Z” Ben’i mutlu k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00fcrece k\u0131ymetlidir.\u00a0 B\u0130Z, BEN’e iyi geldi\u011fi \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde gereklidir.\u00a0 B\u0130Z, BEN’in tatmin etti\u011fi miktarda \u00f6nemlidir.\u00a0 Modern zamanda “trip” ad\u0131n\u0131 alan hoyratl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcndeki ger\u00e7ek budur.\u00a0 Bu hoyratl\u0131\u011f\u0131 frenleyense kaybetme korkusudur.\u00a0 Zaten insan\u0131n i\u00e7indeki \u015feytan da bu korkunun ortadan kalkmas\u0131n\u0131 m\u00fcteakip zincirlerinden s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131r.\u00a0 “Ayr\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z an ger\u00e7ek y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fcm” c\u00fcmlesindeki ger\u00e7ek y\u00fcz; art\u0131k kaybetme korkusundan kurtulmu\u015f BEN’den ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fildir.<\/p>\n

Yukar\u0131da konu etti\u011fimiz B\u0130Z’ler Maslow’un ihtiya\u00e7lar listesinde \u00fcst s\u0131ralardaki ihtiya\u00e7lara kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k gelirken, arkada\u015fl\u0131k ba\u011flam\u0131ndaki B\u0130Z Maslow’un piramidinde daha \u00e7ok en alt basamak ile alakal\u0131d\u0131r.\u00a0 Arkada\u015fl\u0131k \u00f6zelindeki B\u0130Z; BEN’in maddi ve manevi ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131na yan\u0131t verdi\u011fi \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde k\u0131ymetlidir, hatta vazge\u00e7ilmezdir.\u00a0 Dostlu\u011fun \u00f6nemine binaen edilen beylik s\u00f6zlerin b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7o\u011funlu\u011funun en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7\u0131kar ili\u015fkisinde havada kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 defaatle g\u00f6zlemlenmi\u015f bir ger\u00e7ekliktir.\u00a0 \u0130stenilen bir yard\u0131m\u0131n reddedilmesi, verilen s\u00f6z\u00fcn tutulmamas\u0131, ayn\u0131 mevkiyi istemek, ayn\u0131 ki\u015fiyi sevmek bu ger\u00e7ekli\u011fin ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131 i\u00e7in yeterli zemini olu\u015fturacakt\u0131r.\u00a0 Hatta t\u00fcm bu \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalardan muaf olmak kayd\u0131yla, sadece birinin di\u011ferinden daha iyi ya\u015fam \u015fartlar\u0131na sahip olmas\u0131 dahi g\u00f6zlerdeki perdenin kalkmas\u0131na yetecektir.<\/p>\n

Yani \u00f6zetle fedak\u00e2r BEN profili asl\u0131nda bir ill\u00fczyondan ibarettir.\u00a0 E\u011fer sihirbaz\u0131n elleri h\u0131zl\u0131 ve inand\u0131rma kabiliyeti y\u00fcksekse bu ill\u00fczyon hayli uzun s\u00fcre ba\u015far\u0131yla devam edebilir.\u00a0 Bir \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu dahi bu ill\u00fczyonun devam etme \u015fans\u0131 vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Yeter ki seyirci \u015fapkadaki gizli b\u00f6lmeyi g\u00f6rmesin…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bug\u00fcn bir bayram g\u00fcn\u00fc.\u00a0 Ad\u0131 sadece bayram olan bir g\u00fcn […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1896,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,12],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1891"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1891"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1891\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1895,"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1891\/revisions\/1895"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1896"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1891"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1891"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1891"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}